hey, gang. Pip here. I wasn’t sure where to start with this whole blogging thing. I have lots of thoughts playing ping-pong in my head, and wanted a place to put them. So, here we are.

As both a person and a creative, I find that my life rolls through cycles. A lot of things I pursue have a tendency to catch my attention for a time, then lose my interest in favor of the next new thing. Right now, writing’s the thing that has my attention. Last time I got into a ✨blogging mode✨ was back in 2017, when I launched a little site and spat out a handful of posts inspired by the other creative things I was doing at the time. I read back on the first thing I posted there, also titled “Yawp,” inspired by a Walt Whitman¹ verse. Allow me to copy paste my own words, lightly edited, cuz 2017 Pippers was A Whole Different Bitch.

I’ve always taken myself a bit too seriously while simultaneously thinking myself to be of little consequence. It feels a bit bizarre to have these warring thoughts of “HEY LOOK AT ME,” and “eh, why bother.”

This has been a constant struggle in my adult life. I want to make cool shit. I want to put myself out there. I just want attention. That said, I find myself going “why tho???” As creative as my brain is, half the time I’m not convinced anything I do could possibly add value to the world as a whole, like I’d just be adding noise for the sake of adding noise. I’ve been on this struggle bus off and on, especially over the past year or so, which has really shot my TikTok growth in the foot. Though, let’s be real, that platform is Hella Unpredictable, and I don’t think I could understand how to get that ship sailing again, no matter how hard I try.

My problem is, I have a hard time sticking to one thing. (Shout out to my recent ADHD diagnosis, which I only got nailed down back in July, though I’ve struggled with it for EONS.) Whether it’s in making content or conversation, I’m very bad at presenting myself in a coherent manner. As 2017 Pippers put it:

My brain works more like a moth, flitting from point to point on odd connections, usually without bridging my thoughts together for others. Eventually, I might knit them together in a way that seems somewhat cohesive, but the flight path isn’t terribly straightforward.

Let me just interrupt myself here to point out another cyclical thing: referring to myself as a moth??? I only nailed down the “mothsbane” moniker in the past couple months. More on that in this post.

This is where I end up feeling a bit wild and untranslatable. Sure, people might follow my meaning, but I say things in a way that’s distinctly me. This fascinates me about humans. Fundamentally, we’re all the same walking tubes of meat, but we each have our own perspective. While a lot of what we think may shake out to any number of basic similarities, we’re all shaped by our individual experiences, and influenced by the spaces we’ve grown in. Not to wax too philosophical or anything. 

Heads up: this space is gonna be where I wax entirely too philosophical. I can’t afford therapy, so this is where my thoughts shall be word-vomited for the sake of processing. Alongside the mental metronome bouncing between “create” and “quiet, you” sits one that ticks from “no thoughts, head empty” to “let’s critically analyze the narrative themes of VeggieTales.” I can’t guarantee that this will be incredibly deep or terribly entertaining, but hey, I’m just glad you’re in this journey with me, even if it’s just me screaming into the void.

If you’re interested in trying to follow my rabbit trails, here’s where I sound my barbaric yawp.

          yours-
              mothsbane

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